February 18th, 2007
Posted by cookiesanicas
As the break of dawn approaches and the split of the New Year come about within reach, I sat in front of my laptop, with earsplitting and lurid blasts of noise surrounding me, trying to bring to mind the year that has been. I come up for air to whisper a silent hope for a better year ahead.. A year with lesser pains, lesser deceptions, lesser lies and, most of all, lesser complexities.
The past year ha
s not been a good one to me. At the end of the first month of the year, an appalling news came about that started it all. Something happened, The Upstanding Wall is in for an unfathomable dilemma, He’d been through a wits blow, God, how hard it had been for all of us.. I was devastated, broken and thrown. What worsens the situation was the fact that His understanding was manipulated by those worthless and rubbish kith and kin for a reason that only their one-dimensional mind could ever understand. They turned Him away from His broods.. instilling absurdity in His feeble thinking. Their actions are awfully uncalled for.. It’s so sickening that it’s tearing me apart. Well, Let God’s wraths assess their feat.
s not been a good one to me. At the end of the first month of the year, an appalling news came about that started it all. Something happened, The Upstanding Wall is in for an unfathomable dilemma, He’d been through a wits blow, God, how hard it had been for all of us.. I was devastated, broken and thrown. What worsens the situation was the fact that His understanding was manipulated by those worthless and rubbish kith and kin for a reason that only their one-dimensional mind could ever understand. They turned Him away from His broods.. instilling absurdity in His feeble thinking. Their actions are awfully uncalled for.. It’s so sickening that it’s tearing me apart. Well, Let God’s wraths assess their feat.
On the contrary, matters weren’t over and done with. I had to make the most crucial decision with regard to my profession. I had to choose between keeping my well-loved job and being with my family. The thing is, dear hubby was transferred back here at such a short notice, and the thing that aggravated and goaded my senses even more was the exasperating point that my request for lateral transfer was taking ages to transpire. Thanks to the iniquity and foul circumstance that I was battling with my egotistical, dim-witted and imperceptive station officer back in Iloilo … Ohhhh… ‘hate her stinking guts!.
It wasn’t an easy decision to begin with, I had to battle with my self for countless of times, considering that I have thousands of things to mull over. It was more of a choice between keeping my independence monetary-wise from my husband ( I don’t wanna depend from my hubby’s reserves if there’s any) and being alone in the City of Love and endure being estranged from my daughter. Weekly trips to and fro became strenuous and pricey. In a subdued manner, changes came hard to fiddle with. Another bombshell that hit me hard was when we found out that we have a new addition on the way.. (what’s worst than that?) Not that I rail against having it, it’s just because of the growing fact that it was so damn 
UNTIMELY! Talking about going through a storm? Well it’s not just any storm for me man, it is a Thunderstorm! Just think about all the upshots that I have to deal with. It’s one hell of a predicament. Decisions must be made.
UNTIMELY! Talking about going through a storm? Well it’s not just any storm for me man, it is a Thunderstorm! Just think about all the upshots that I have to deal with. It’s one hell of a predicament. Decisions must be made.
And so it came to pass that I was inevitably putting up with what I decided on. Matters weren’t easy to deal and endure with. Ironically, Time was too slow and yet
too fast for me to catch on. I was drifting into oblivion.. I was down in the dumps.. feeling lonely, depressed and at a loss. Emptiness settled, it seemed to me that there was always a vacuum longed to be filled. I felt robbed off with the life that I used to have… Flawed yet bearable.. Complex yet simple… heartrending yet in good spirits. I was enforced to face this dilemma with not much of a choice but to pull through. It took the best of me.. the best I ever had.
Now, I can never say that things are well. For Puzzles remain unsolved. Mysteries stay unraveled. Barriers persist to be untangled. I have nothing left but the hope that one day every turn of 
this intricate labyrinth will soon be traveled and surpassed. Armed with my longing to go beyond this test of faith and strength I succumb, but not for long, I know I may never understand why I had to go through this adversity, nor may I ever identify, with any logical reason, why I have to put up with this ordeal. Perhaps only time can tell and yes, Only Time can heal.
this intricate labyrinth will soon be traveled and surpassed. Armed with my longing to go beyond this test of faith and strength I succumb, but not for long, I know I may never understand why I had to go through this adversity, nor may I ever identify, with any logical reason, why I have to put up with this ordeal. Perhaps only time can tell and yes, Only Time can heal.
I pray for Patience, some things are worth waiting for, it would keep me unruffled. I seek for Perseverance it would give me the strength of mind to carry on. As they say 2007 is going to be a great year for everybody.. (Are they trying to pull my leg?) Well, it wouldn’t hurt me to hope right? I guess I’ll just buy that thought for the moment … for the time being.. I’ll just be here.. Hanging by a moment!
Life is beautiful.. it must be! It may not be most of the time but God sees the bigger picture.. Hold on.. Keep the faith.. Carpe Diem!
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